This programme contains product placement: Everyone should have a massive night of drinks and poker with the boys in full suits

CC BY 2.0; [Duncan] via Flickr

CC BY 2.0; [Duncan] via Flickr

It’s been three straight weeks of nothing but Made In Chelsea posts as it’s far too early to talk about the college football playoff, far too unnecessary to talk about Johnny Football losing 30-0 in his first NFL start, and far too painful to talk about the bassist from Delain who ruptured his testicle after being hit by the explosion of a streamer canon – that and the temperature of Sam’s bath water is at 2,000 Kelvin.

Alik Alfus needs to open up a mentoring programme for lads and enrol the entirety of Chelsea. The first week would cover etiquette. Remember when he brought Louise to her hairdressers appointment? Week two would be spent teaching guitar. Remember when he wrote Louise that song? Week three to the end of term would be invested in avoiding urges to cheat. Remember when he was accused of cheating on Louise but didn’t?

It would be a real letdown if later in Season 8 it was revealed he actually had cheated on her because he’s perfect.

At the moment, Alik is the Tom Brady of Chelsea, a true gentleman of the sport with a sailor’s mouth.

And Ms Lauren Hutton is the greatest girl in the world but by the looks of it Spencer is about to do something Spencer-like. She’s absolutely flawless – so clever and the Queen of Comebacks, just ask Stephanie Pratt. Although her confidence’ll undoubtedly backfire (it is Chelsea of course) and Stephanie will have the last laugh, just you watch.

Lastly, the individuals in MIC are concerned with looks. They are all well groomed and prepared for any smart dinner party. The boys have Ken’s closet, whilst the ladies own all forms of designer and one-off pieces. Here is a growing concern relatable to the commoner: through everyday observation, the American flag on the right shoulder of clothing in the United Kingdom is flying the wrong way. It should always be flying into the wind. Just an FYI.


Moment(s) of the episode: 1) The brother-sister talk between Sam and Louise. Louise was genuinely concerned for her brother’s recent mistakes. It was touching.

2) [Something like]:
Spencer: No one at this table is going to cheat on anyone… except maybe me with the barmaid downstairs. She’s fit.
Lauren: Hi-five!

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