NFL: Johnny Manziel’s party reportedly led to Josh Gordon’s suspension against Baltimore

CC BY 2.0; Erik Drost via Flickr

CC BY 2.0; Erik Drost via Flickr

Johnny Manziel’s 2014 stat line reads 18 of 35 for 175, 0 TDs and 2 INTs, 9 rushing attempts for 29 yards and 1 TD – and one heck of a party it seems.

The polarising figure that is Johnny Football stormed into the NFL as the Cleveland Browns’ 22nd pick in the 2014 Draft, but he sure didn’t wreck the league like he promised. Instead, he greatest moment was giving the bird to the Washington R******* in a preseason game, racking up a $12,000 fine in the process.

(It’s like the Redskins have become Lord Voldemort with certain media outlets refusing to refer to them by name: The Team Who Must Not Be Named and You Know Who.)

Josh Gordon returned from suspension in Week 12 against Atlanta and went off for 120 yards on eight catches. Since then, the former car salesman has amassed only 185 total receiving yards. It’s hard to say who is to blame: the QB or the WR. But neither Brian Hoyer nor Manziel could get the ball to playmakers, hence the four-game losing streak between the two.

In place of the injured Manziel, undrafted rookie Connor Shaw made his NFL debut. He honestly could have used Gordon. Shaw went 14 of 28 for 177 with one INT.

Hoyer’s future in Cleveland is uncertain and Manziel went back on his word that he would be more focused. Whilst Shaw might not have the flair of Johnny Football, he still has ability to scramble for positive yards and with time with the offence he could unset Manziel as the starter in 2015.

In regards to the party, it must’ve been a bomb. At 22, Manziel must bring in talent that only his eyes and Gronkowski’s eyes have seen within an arms reach. How does one get an invite to that shindig? Expect shots off bodies and a DJ heavily into his tunes. What springs to mind is Nelly’s video for “Tip Drill”,

For the rookie from A&M, it’s not about the stats; it’s about the beers swallowed.

Bottoms up, Manziel. Here’s to 2015 and here’s to Connor Shaw.


This programme contains product placement: Everyone should have a massive night of drinks and poker with the boys in full suits

CC BY 2.0; [Duncan] via Flickr

CC BY 2.0; [Duncan] via Flickr

It’s been three straight weeks of nothing but Made In Chelsea posts as it’s far too early to talk about the college football playoff, far too unnecessary to talk about Johnny Football losing 30-0 in his first NFL start, and far too painful to talk about the bassist from Delain who ruptured his testicle after being hit by the explosion of a streamer canon – that and the temperature of Sam’s bath water is at 2,000 Kelvin.

Alik Alfus needs to open up a mentoring programme for lads and enrol the entirety of Chelsea. The first week would cover etiquette. Remember when he brought Louise to her hairdressers appointment? Week two would be spent teaching guitar. Remember when he wrote Louise that song? Week three to the end of term would be invested in avoiding urges to cheat. Remember when he was accused of cheating on Louise but didn’t?

It would be a real letdown if later in Season 8 it was revealed he actually had cheated on her because he’s perfect.

At the moment, Alik is the Tom Brady of Chelsea, a true gentleman of the sport with a sailor’s mouth.

And Ms Lauren Hutton is the greatest girl in the world but by the looks of it Spencer is about to do something Spencer-like. She’s absolutely flawless – so clever and the Queen of Comebacks, just ask Stephanie Pratt. Although her confidence’ll undoubtedly backfire (it is Chelsea of course) and Stephanie will have the last laugh, just you watch.

Lastly, the individuals in MIC are concerned with looks. They are all well groomed and prepared for any smart dinner party. The boys have Ken’s closet, whilst the ladies own all forms of designer and one-off pieces. Here is a growing concern relatable to the commoner: through everyday observation, the American flag on the right shoulder of clothing in the United Kingdom is flying the wrong way. It should always be flying into the wind. Just an FYI.

Moment(s) of the episode: 1) The brother-sister talk between Sam and Louise. Louise was genuinely concerned for her brother’s recent mistakes. It was touching.

2) [Something like]:
Spencer: No one at this table is going to cheat on anyone… except maybe me with the barmaid downstairs. She’s fit.
Lauren: Hi-five!

This programme contains product placement: Hats. Everywhere.

CC BY-SA 2.0; D Johnston via

CC BY-SA 2.0; D Johnston via

Spencer returned with a new lady after an extended absence from Made In Chelsea and his exes wasted no time in putting her through her paces.

Binky spent the entire episode still at odds with Fran, which came to a head at their front door when the two left with their dispute unresolved—Alex made it worse. What exactly are they arguing about again? Oh, yes, the fact that Fran dragged Binky into the ordeal with Sam. It’s petty. The lack of ownership is baffling and the word choice is horrific.

Not going to touch Tiff and Sam’s situation any further. That poor girl…

Josh Shepherd’s relationship is a freight train speeding down a mountain and he’s tossing around the “L” word, but by the looks of it, Stephanie is far more interested in snooping into Spencer’s new interest.

New girl Lauren Hutton isn’t interested in any attack on Spencer’s past. She’s allowing Spencer to control whether the pair succeeds or fails – it’s noble, but let’s be honest, it’s going to buckle for the benefit of the show.  It is nice to see someone with some sense though.

Alik Alfus continues to demonstrate why he’s the most normal individual on the show. The boy had to return to America to sort out his visa, so normal.

What was up with all that hats? Everyone was wearing some fancy hat?

Moment of the episode: Jamie and Andy’s quick discussion in the pub because who knew that wearing a jumper whilst out signified that one might be leaving? Learn something new everyday…

This programme contains product placement: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

CC BY-SA 2.0; Amanda Slater via Flickr

CC BY-SA 2.0; Amanda Slater via Flickr

Living the dream must mean being able to book a chateau in France on a whim for all your mates – it’s subjective though, really. 

Josh Shepherd is a man of wisdom. Stephanie Pratt is a woman of wisdom. 

The Sam and Tiff situation was the focal point of the episode, and too right it should be. Sam has continually swayed between nice guy and out-to-look-like-a-pimp so far this season and he’s made critical errors in his quest to land a Watson as a partner.

Please, don’t mess it up for the rest of us, lad.

With a fortune likely available at his disposal, he could have nipped down to the local HMV and bought the Made In Chelsea box set (season 4 onward) to see what he is up against, pursuing a Watson. It is a struggle – personal experience; jokes.

Tiff is young, yes, but to this point, Lucy has filled her sister’s head with her bad experiences, which is robbing Tiff the chance to make mistakes. Stephanie’s advice allowed her to see that a bit at least.

What Sam should be doing is fetching insight from Alik Alfus, who has been a gentleman to Louise. He walked her to the hairdresser’s for heaven’s sake!

On the subject, a minor continuation blip was Alik and Andy’s friendship. Alik is the most rational individual on the show, but no one else seems to understand. ‘Murica.

Moment of the episode: Fran Newman-Young.